It all started on a Sunday morning, standing right outside the church. The mass was happening inside, but we were attending it from outside….not the ideal way to pray, I know, but it wasn’t that we didn’t want to go in. We wanted the blessing. Desperately.

But for some reason, it felt like we were in a cold war with God. You know, like a classic Indian marriage fight, where the wife is in the kitchen banging utensils and the husband is in the hall watching TV extra loudly just to prove a point.

So yeah. We stood outside the church.

Silent. Stubborn. Deeply faithful.

Just not talking to God right now because… well, He knows what He did., or didn’t or maybe it was our fault….well, thats not the point….

And in that sacred stand-off, my friend looks up, first at the sky, then at the cross on top of the church…like it wronged him personally, and says,

“I think God is a communist.”

Now usually, when a sentence starts like that, it ends in either a fight, a philosophical debate, or a short film by The Five Pebbles….

But this time, it got me thinking…this is bigger that all the other thoughts we usually have….evidently so, because our previous best topic was “common sense isn’t that common”, and we still talk about it…anyway. Moving on…..

I heard him out.
What does God want, supposedly?
Equality. Peace. Fairness. Sharing. Compassion. Zero interest rates on sins. Forgiveness for all.
Doesn’t matter if you’re broke or a billionaire, messed up once or a hundred times, God loves you equally. Sounds like… communism, doesn’t it?

No premium subscriptions to salvation.
No VIP access to heaven for those who donated a gopuram or a golden cross or built a mosque.
Basic spiritual income guaranteed, whether you hustle or not.
Work or don’t work, pray or don’t pray, fail or fall, the grace is there.

God wants the rich to give to the poor.
God frowns upon hoarding.
God doesn’t believe in greed or ambition over kindness.
God says: share, don’t flex. Forgive, don’t sue. Give, don’t gate keep.

I mean… come on. Even Marx would be like:
“Damn, He’s good.”

But ….

Somewhere down the road, we capitalized God.
We started monetizing divinity like it was startup equity.
We made salvation a service, deluxe packages available at just ₹99999 only, temple/holy land/Mecca visits included, blessings extra.
We put a price tag on peace.
We made heaven a gated community.

And suddenly, the God who just wanted people to chill and not murder each other became part of a corporate hierarchy,
Brand God™.
Now available in 36 languages, 18 rituals, and 47 contradictory opinions.
T&C apply.

We stopped treating people equally.
We started treating people like products.
And instead of feeding the poor, we fed algorithms.

So yeah, I nodded at my friend. “Maybe you’re right,” I said. Maybe God is a communist. Maybe all these years we were asking Him for blessings, and He was just whispering back,

“split the food, not the people, you clown.”

But the deeper I thought, the more confused I got.
Because here’s the paradox:

If God is a communist…
Does that mean He believes in no private ownership?
Does He believe in no class, no privilege, no divine hierarchy?
Does that mean He’s against Himself being worshipped?

Because if God is truly a communist,
Then wouldn’t he be an atheist?

And just like that, my brain short-circuited.
God became Schrodinger’s revolutionary,
A divine being who wants equality but doesn’t want to be above others.
A cosmic presence who might just be trying to unionize the universe while we’re busy reposting motivational quotes.

So where does that leave us?

Maybe God isn’t a communist.
Maybe He isn’t capitalist either.
Maybe He’s just tired.
Tired of being dragged into every ideology, quoted on WhatsApp groups, and blamed for everything from heartbreak to inflation.

Maybe God is… just God.
Unbothered. Omnipresent. Watching us argue over left vs right while He’s floating somewhere saying,
“Guys… it was never that deep.”

But still, my friend had a point.

The message was always simple, be kind, share your bread, don’t be a jerk.

Whether that’s communism or common sense…

Oh wait…common sense….!!!

Well, maybe that’s the real religion we forgot.

And that’s why it isn’t that common.

Note:When I use “He” while referring to God, please don’t come at me, it’s not a gender statement. It’s just tradition, laziness, and the fact that saying “The Supreme Energy That Transcends All Binary Constructs” every time would really mess up the paragraph flow.